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The final (and longest) book in the Rambling On trilogy

out 16th October

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My Journey through life came to a T junction.

This is the trip that defined the direction I chose to go.

 

 Two one-track minds merge with train-wreck results.

The girl Graham Field left in England is not the one who arrives in India. Sofia sees the trip as her swansong before motherhood, impatient to exchange backpack for a baby sling.

So begins the journey which is the:   

Indian Itinerary of Endurance

A cold snap makes for a chilly reception in Delhi

First-class aggravation in Agra, tension at the Taj Mahal 

Backtrack to the ghost city of Fatehpur Sikri, a brief respite from outstretched hands

Non-stop to balmy Bombay and a runny bum

Tunnel vision, reaching down a Goan sewer for the irretrievable

Cross-country to Pondicherry, pondering decoupling    

Wrong side of the tracks in Madras

Mind the gap year in Mahabalipuram

Grave digging, scrotum flicking, a big bhang triggers a pointless train of thought in Konark

Striking differences in Calcutta

Teased in Darjeeling, limited Himalayan view 

Letting off steam walking into Nepal

Curfew and confrontation, the relationship reaches the end of the line in Kathmandu

Finding solace in a rebellious train of thought, an outrageous inner monologue runs parallel with the travelogue.

This is your invitation to pry into the diary, be the other tourist on the train, a voyeur at the accident, an eavesdropper on the argument. Frown, cringe, laugh and perhaps relate as this traveller dares to recount his reservations.

 

 

So what’s the book called then?

I Would Have Been Finished Sooner. That was one of the many considerations. Over two and a half years ago, when it was decided to turn the Rambling On manuscript into a trilogy, the inspired idea to give the three books a ‘should have, could have, would have’ theme made perfect sense. Starting with the faux pas whiskey awakening, the realisation that I should have left the bottle in Book One. Book Two with its dream-come-true achievement to cycle China lent itself to the I Could Have Been A Dreamer title, but this book – well, it was not so easy.

This book has been written and rewritten, changed and changed again, it’s taken years to get it to this finished state. I’ve changed the title as frequently as my underwear, every morning I had a shining new idea and by evening I discarded it. I was dictated by the ‘I would have …’ (the long shortlist of possibilities are below).

I would lay awake at night going ‘I would have …’ and adding every relevant and clever suffix to finish off the title.

Walking to the school bus I was discussing the problem with my eleven-year-old Bulgarian concert buddy, pillion and backgammon opponent, saying to her, ‘If I wasn’t restricted by the first three words of the title l would have called the book A Life of Chai.’

With the brilliance of a young, lateral-thinking mind, unhampered by convention, rules and all the insomnia agonising I’d been through, she said to me, ‘Then why don’t you write on the cover: “I Would Have Called this Book A Life of Chai”?’

There was a moment’s pause, a microsecond of consideration, I caught my breath, and realised, then voiced, ‘That’s brilliant.’ I visualised the title on the cover, it would match the other two but would also stand alone and this book, although being the last part of a trilogy, does stand alone. In fact, I think as this one has the widest appeal, many readers will go back to Whiskey and start the series from the beginning after they’ve had their fill of Chai. And that is why Book Three of the Rambling On trilogy has a mute heading and an actual title, for cover aesthetics, for continuity, to complete the ‘should have, could have, would have’ theme, but at the same time having a snappy, memorable, clever and ultimately relevant title.

I WOULD HAVE BEEN …

Dazed

Dependent

Wasted

Wasted potential

Falling

Worse

Honest

Wary

Censored

Sentenced

Anonymous

Sidetracked

Limited

Vanquished

A fixer

Happy

Trapped

Effected

A parent

Controlled

Nobody

Ruined

Beaten

Defeated

Normal

Rerouted

Unknown

Average

Wrecked

Careless

A brat packer

Left waiting

Left wanting

A drift (er)

Unstoppable

Nothing

Bored

A writer

Undiscovered

Broken

Unfulfilled

Left

Like this

Finished by now

Finished sooner

Crushed

Restrained

Comatose

I WOULD HAVE …

Gone off the rails

Gone off track

Told tails

Conformed

Held back

Said S’long

Had a novel idea

Fallen

Died inside

Died between the lines

Read between the lines

Only one view

Shared the views

Dumped the baggage

Left the baggage

Lost the point

Got straight to the point

Gone over the edge

Rescripted it

Rewritten it

Seen truth between the lines

Had only one view

Got in trouble

Told it differently

Made it up

Got off

Departed

Led a life of chai

Had shit to deal with

Had toxic problems

Walked the night alone

Woken with the sunrise

Lied with her

Embraced the gloom

Back tracked

Got better sleep

Made tracks

Put my foot in it

Covered more

Uncovered more

Lost the plot

Told the truth

Got to the point

Laughed